.png)
I always felt my menstrual health challenges were just part of life as a woman.
But as I approached my forties, I started noticing changes that I couldn’t ignore.
What followed was a rollercoaster journey into perimenopause—and I soon realised it was far more complex than I ever imagined.
In this blog post, I’ll share my menopause story—a personal account of how this stage of life has reshaped not just my health, but also my outlook, career and relationships.
If you’re going through your own journey, I hope my story offers insights, comfort and hope.
Background to my menopause story
Before the perimenopause became a defining part of my story, life was busy but predictable.
I was juggling a demanding job in legal compliance, raising my children, managing a household, balancing everything.
Like most women, I didn’t think too much about how my health might impact my future—it was just another thing to manage.
But my menstrual health was always difficult.
Looking back, there were BIG warning signs that my hormones were an issue but you just get on with it don’t you? It’s just part of being a woman…or so we’re led to believe!
The younger years
I started my periods when I was 11 and I don’t remember them being a huge problem until my teens. Then they were so bad I could be bedridden.
(I remember the day I had to go and pick my results up from college, my friend had to help me walk there as I was doubled-up with cramps)
My twenties were also quite challenging.
I was on the mini pill throughout and I was riddled with acne, had low mood, crippling headaches, no sex drive to speak of and the most horrendous mood swings imaginable.
The Baby Years
Then of course when I came off the pill and tried to conceive in my thirties, I couldn’t.
I was referred to my local fertility clinic and it was found that I had PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) which meant I wasn’t ovulating.
I was lucky that medication to help me ovulate resulted in my two beautiful boys.
But post natal depression hit me hard both times.
I was suffering from postpartum psychosis and needed urgent support.
I had a breakdown at work shortly after returning from maternity leave and I had to take some further time off. I hid at home, in shame, and eventually recovered…for a while at least.
PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder)
My periods, when they returned after pregnancy, were as bad as ever and the familiar pattern was back.
I’d be fine for 3 weeks of the month but in the week leading up to my period I felt dreadful and in the few days before, for just that day or two, I can honestly say I wanted to end my life.
I’d wake up the next morning when my period had started, and I’d feel fine.
I couldn’t recognise the person I was yesterday. I thought I was mad. And this had gone on for years, month after month.
I was only offered antidepressants from my GP but I just didn’t think it was depression when it was only a few days of the month.
No one ever mentioned hormones (I now know that this was PMDD, the severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and I should have received the right treatment)
I also developed gallstones…and I understand that excess estrogen from the pill and pregnancy is a factor! After suffering with the most excruciating pain I had my gallbladder removed when I was 37.
The Start of the Perimenopause
Then a few years later came the moment that I knew something really wasn’t right.
My symptoms — chronic fatigue, brain fog, bloating, constant headaches, low mood, heart palpitations, and more frequent heavy periods — had hit me like a freight train.
My razor-sharp focus was gone, and the energy that had always powered me was nowhere to be seen.
One day, I suddenly felt like I was in slow motion, an overwhelming feeling that my body and my brain didn’t work, like I couldn’t get moving and couldn’t get my thoughts out.
It felt like I had the worst hangover where you just feel awful and can’t function.
But it didn’t go away. I started to feel like this all the time.
I’d been getting breathless and was having heart palpitations too but I was prone to anaemia so I hadn’t really thought much about it.
The headaches I’d always suffered with had got worse and more frequent.
My joints ached.
And I was putting on weight which is often the one thing that REALLY can make us feel so fed up.
And my periods! They were every 3 weeks and they were heavy.
If I stood up from my chair, I would flood.
It’s awful to be working in an open plan office when you’re dealing with that. Plus I had terrible cramps with them too.
The pressure to perform at my best whilst I felt like this became an overwhelming source of stress.
There’s little room for vulnerability in the legal sector; the culture was one of endurance, where showing any sign of weakness was frowned upon.
I just thought "It’s no good, I’m getting old, that’s it, I’m past my prime, I’m useless".
My doctor offered me antidepressants which I refused. I wasn't depressed. I knew it was something else.
I struggled on.
The physical symptoms were difficult, but the emotional side of perimenopause was an even greater challenge.
I was either tearful or I was angry every day.
I felt isolated, frustrated and embarrassed.
There were days when I doubted myself completely, wondering if I’d ever feel like “me” again.
My husband didn’t know what to do for the best.
The Turning Point
Nobody knew anything about perimenopause.
The only menopausal women I’d known was a much older woman with grey hair who had hot flushes in the middle of the office.
I was frantically trying to find out what was wrong with me.
And one of the first clues I got that it might be perimenopause was finding the book ‘The Hormone Cure’ by Sara Gottfried MD.
It was the first time anyone had mentioned that hormones might be a factor. That was it, I researched and I researched…
And I found Dr Hannah Short who is a GP Specialist in Menopause and Premenstrual Disorders, who was based in the UK.
I made the 3-hour drive to see her in person.
She immediately prescribed HRT, Oestrogel (estrogen) and Utrogestan (progesterone).
She was also passionate about nutrition and lifestyle factors so I took her advice and started to eat well and walk daily.
And almost straight away my mood lifted and the heart palpitations stopped.
My headaches went and I got my brain function back, to a manageable level anyway.
But it needed constant monitoring and adjusting so I kept in close contact with Dr Hannah.
Progesterone Intolerance
It was only at this point that I found out about progesterone intolerance (which is thought to affect 10-20% of women) and which would explain my whole life of difficulties!
For the majority of women, progesterone is thought of as the ‘calming’ hormone but if you’re sensitive to progesterone it can cause all sorts of symptoms similar to PMS.
I was taking the progesterone part of HRT for 2 weeks out of the month and on these days, I still felt dreadful.
Dr Hannah suggested that, rather than take the tablets orally, I could try them vaginally so that they just work locally, near the womb.
This did help enormously but things still weren’t right.
Then life changed for us all.
A big life 'blip'
Lockdown happened in 2020.
And I tried (and failed) to juggle home schooling and work.
And then my Mum died suddenly.
So I was grieving. I was miserable. I was burnt out. I was isolated. Something had to change.
I approached my workplace suggesting that I might need adjustments to my workload or schedule but I was quickly shut down.
This lack of understanding and support left me isolated and frustrated.
It was no better with my doctor.
There was no mention of the menopause and certainly no prescription for HRT.
I was diagnosed with stress, signed off work and offered antidepressants.
This only served to fuel my employers’ view that I was no longer useful.
Without the flexibility or support I needed, I found myself in a downward spiral.
Eventually, the toll on my health was too great, and I was forced to resign.
It also eventually ended my marriage too.
But I carried on trying to find the answer to my health issues.
Back on track
I registered with the Newson Health Clinic.
Dr Charlene Villa continues to be my Menopause Specialist and she is amazing.
She added testosterone to my HRT and this restored my energy and my brain function (as well as my libido!) I could think clearly for the first time in years!
I’ve also had a mirena coil fitted and I wish I’d done it years ago.
My periods are light (if I get them at all) and, because the progesterone is localised, it’s had a major impact on the severity of my mood swings. I’m much calmer than I’ve ever been.
I’m sure we’ll continue to tweak my HRT over the years.
(It’s such a shame that on the NHS you’re often just sent away with your HRT when it needs monitoring, testing and adjusting! It needs to be individualised. It’s a huge issue which hopefully the NHS will resolve)
So at last I felt like I was regaining control over my body and mind.
This wasn’t just about managing symptoms—it was about rediscovering myself.
And I decided to make a career change.
A happy ending
I now feel empowered, balanced and at peace.
Physically, I sleep better, I have energy, I rarely suffer with headaches, I’m not bloated and my periods are non-existent or very light.
Mentally and emotionally, my mood swings, rages and episodes of crying (not hormonal ones anyway!) are far more manageable. And when I do have dark days (there are many at the moment, I'm going through a painful divorce), I'm kind to myself and give myself the care I need.
And I now have autonomy over my life. I structure my days in a way that works for me, not someone else.
But I wanted to take my personal experience and help other women too.
So I re-trained as a menopause wellness consultant and coach. I love my work!
I’m passionate about making sure women get the support they need during menopause through 1:1 coaching sessions.
We’re so often left feeling confused, overwhelmed or dismissed and it’s my mission to change that.
I also run workshops for organisations to show them how they can best support their team members who are dealing with menopause challenges.
I heard Kate Muir, the women's health expert, documentary maker and author say:
“It’s like those challenges are meant for us. We’re meant to go through them to find that gift that we’re supposed to share with the world. Even when it feels like a midlife crisis, it’s actually a midlife reinvention”
Lessons Learned
This journey has taught me so much, but if I had to highlight the most important lessons, they would be:
Listen to your body. Your body sends signals for a reason, and learning to understand them is key.
Advocate for yourself. With healthcare professionals, loved ones, or even yourself, it’s crucial to prioritise your needs.
Seek support. No one has to face this journey alone—find the people, resources and tools that empower you.
Educate yourself. Knowledge truly is power. Understanding what’s happening to your body can reduce the fear and confusion.
Experiment with solutions. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach so don’t be afraid to try different remedies, treatments or lifestyle changes.
Be patient and kind to yourself. Menopause is a process, not a problem to solve overnight. Give yourself grace as you navigate it.
Above all, know that you’re not alone.
The perimenopause and menopause are challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to reconnect with yourself in ways you never thought possible.
It's not just about managing symptoms—it’s about rediscovering who you are.
If you’re reading this and finding pieces of your own story reflected in mine, I encourage you to take the first step in your own journey—seeking support, exploring new treatments or simply listening to your body.
Share your thoughts in the comments, or reach out if you have questions about starting your journey. Do also check out my full blog for lots of menopause guidance!
Your story matters, and I hope mine inspires you to embrace this time of life with curiosity and courage.
Comentarios