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I am a late-discovered AuDHD female.
I was diagnosed with both ADHD and Autism at the age of 49.
I’ve had a career, raised two boys, studied at university level, and lead a full and busy life…yet I had spent most of my life wondering why I struggled with things that seemed easy for others.
Losing track of time, forgetting appointments, starting projects with enthusiasm but never quite finishing them.
It wasn’t until perimenopause hit that everything REALLY unraveled though.
The brain fog, the exhaustion, the emotional overwhelm…it felt like my mind had short-circuited.
For many women, ADHD and Autism can go unnoticed for decades, only coming to light when the erratic and fluctuating hormones in perimenopause magnify the symptoms.
That was my experience, and suddenly my entire life made sense.
But once I knew, I faced another challenge—what next?
While stimulant medications work for some, they weren’t an option for me (I’ll explain later). I needed an alternative.
In this blog, I’ll share how I connected my inattentive ADHD and my Autism to perimenopause, why traditional treatments weren’t available to me and the natural strategies (including one supplement I swear by) that have helped me regain my focus, energy and clarity.
If you’re struggling too, you’re not alone—and there are solutions.
(DISCLAIMER: this is MY story and my experience. I’m not a medical professional and this post is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek professional medical advice on the topics covered in this post)
Contents
Why Autism and ADHD in Women Often Go Unnoticed—Until Perimenopause Hits
For most of my life, I thought I was “different”.
I was painfully shy, the daydreamer and the woman who worked twice as hard to meet deadlines but still felt like she was falling behind.
Like many women with inattentive ADHD, I didn’t fit the stereotype of the hyperactive little boy bouncing off the walls in a classroom.
Instead, my hyperactivity was internal—my brain never stopped, difficulty focusing, forgetfulness, chronic procrastination and an endless mental to-do list that never seemed to get completed.
Why Women With ADHD and Autism Are Often Missed
ADHD and Autism in women are notoriously underdiagnosed, especially those with the inattentive subtype.
Instead of being disruptive, we internalise our struggles, masking symptoms with coping mechanisms.
We rely on structure, routine and sheer willpower—until something disrupts the balance.
For many women, that “something” is perimenopause.
The Autism and ADHD-Hormone Connection
Oestrogen plays a crucial role in regulating dopamine, the neurotransmitter responsible for motivation, focus and executive function.
When oestrogen levels begin to fluctuate in perimenopause, dopamine levels drop—exacerbating ADHD symptoms or, for some women, unmasking them entirely.
This explains why so many women (myself included) only receive an ADHD diagnosis in their 40s or 50s, when perimenopause turns mild symptoms into overwhelming struggles.
The Impact of Undiagnosed ADHD and Perimenopause
If left unaddressed, ADHD can take a significant toll on mental health and daily life.
Many women experience:
Increased brain fog – Difficulty concentrating, trouble finding words and forgetfulness become daily battles.
Emotional dysregulation – Mood swings, frustration and sensitivity to rejection can intensify.
Overwhelm and burnout – Struggling to manage work, home life and personal responsibilities leads to exhaustion.
Low self-esteem – A lifetime of feeling “not good enough” can contribute to anxiety and depression.
For women in midlife already juggling careers, families and changing hormones, these struggles can make you feel like a failure.
Understanding the link between perimenopause and neurodiversity is the first step in finding solutions that really do help.
Setting Yourself Up for Success
Managing inattentive ADHD and/or Autism (especially when combined with perimenopause) requires a multi-layered approach, including a change in your mindset, improvements in your physical space and the right resources.
Here’s the things that have helped me:
Step 1: Change Your Mindset
Acknowledge that our brains are wired differently – ADHD isn’t a flaw; it’s just a different way of thinking. Recognising this is the first step to finding strategies that work for you.
Embrace experimentation – Not every solution will work for everyone. Be open to trying different approaches until you find what helps you feel more focused and in control.
Practice self-compassion – You’re not lazy, broken or failing. Midlife ADHD + perimenopause is a tough combination, but you can find ways to thrive.
Step 2: Sort Out Your Environment
Declutter your space – ADHD brains thrive in structured, minimal-distraction environments. Start by creating a calm, organised workspace.
Use visual cues – Post-it notes, colour-coded planners or digital reminders can keep you on track.
Minimise distractions – Apps like Freedom or Forest can help you stay focused by blocking social media or other time-draining sites.
Loop earplugs or noise cancelling headphones - helpful for shutting out background noise.
Step 3: Gather Your Essential Tools
Consider medication and treatment: Speak to your doctor about medication and non-medication options for ADHD (including HRT/Hormone Therapy).
My diagnosis was through the NHS but because they used a private provider through the Right to Choose program, my doctor told me they cannot provide the medication that the report says I need (as yet I haven’t challenged this but it’s disappointing).
I am however a huge advocate for HRT and it has been extremely beneficial to me! You can learn more about HRT on my blog where I share lots of information about all things menopause.
Supplements for ADHD brain health: Certain supplements may support focus and dopamine regulation. I love ‘Get Dopa’ which contain nutrients to support executive function, energy and cognitive performance. They’re a scientifically-balanced food supplement with 16 amino acids, vitamins, minerals, probiotics and botanicals. Use my link above to get 10% off your purchase.
Take a look at the government scheme Access to Work - Access to Work can help you get or stay in work if you have a physical or mental health condition or disability, including ADHD and Autism.
The support you get will depend on your needs. Through Access to Work, you can apply for:
a grant to help pay for practical support with your work
support with managing your mental health at work
money to pay for communication support at job interviews
Follow the work of Dr Emma Ping: Dr Ping is a menopause doctor with a special interest in ADHD in women. She shares lots of valuable tips on her Instagram page.
ADHD-friendly planners & productivity tools: Bullet journals, digital task managers (like Notion or Trello), the ADHD app YooDoo and time-blocking calendars can be game-changers.
Educational resources: Books like “Unmasked” by Ellie Middleton and “ADHD an A to Z” by Leanne Maskell can provide deeper insights into how Autism and ADHD manifest in women.
And for Autism, there is an incredible book “Rediscovered: A Compassionate and Courageous Guide for late discovered autistic women (and their allies) by Catherine Asta.
🎧 ADHD-friendly apps & podcasts: Try brain-training apps like Lumosity or listen to podcasts like The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast or MissUnderstood:ADHD in Women for motivation and insights.
Frequently Asked Questions - FAQS
Is ADHD worse during menopause?
Yes, ADHD symptoms can worsen during menopause due to fluctuating oestrogen levels, which impact dopamine production—a key neurotransmitter involved in focus and executive function. Many women find their usual coping strategies less effective, leading to increased forgetfulness, brain fog, and emotional dysregulation.
Does HRT help with ADHD?
Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) may help some women with ADHD during menopause by stabilising oestrogen levels, which can improve cognitive function and emotional regulation. However, the effects vary, and HRT is not a direct treatment for ADHD but may offer relief for related symptoms like brain fog and mood swings.
What are ADHD symptoms in women?
ADHD symptoms in women often include difficulty with focus, disorganisation, impulsivity, emotional sensitivity, and struggles with time management. Many women also experience chronic overwhelm, forgetfulness, and difficulties in maintaining routines, which can intensify during hormonal shifts like menopause.
What is ADHD masking in females?
ADHD masking refers to the unconscious effort women make to hide their symptoms by mimicking neurotypical behavior, overcompensating, or developing coping strategies that can be exhausting. This can lead to anxiety, burnout, and a delayed or missed diagnosis, as their struggles may be overlooked or mistaken for stress or emotional issues.
What makes ADHD worse?
ADHD symptoms can worsen due to stress, lack of sleep, poor diet, hormonal changes (such as menopause or menstrual cycles), and overstimulation. Lifestyle factors like excessive caffeine, high sugar intake, and inconsistent routines can also exacerbate difficulties with focus, memory and emotional regulation.
Finding What Works for You
Managing ADHD in midlife—especially when combined with perimenopause—can feel overwhelming but understanding the connection is the first step toward regaining control.
The key is to experiment and find what works for you.
ADHD isn’t one-size-fits-all, and neither are the solutions.
Have you found a strategy that works for you? I’d love to hear about it!
Drop a comment below, share this post with someone who might need it, or subscribe for more insights on navigating ADHD, perimenopause, and midlife wellness.
You’re not alone in this journey.
This page does not provide medical advice; it is intended for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek professional medical advice on any of the topics covered on this page.
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